After a few
hours’ kip, a cup of tea and a smoke, Liam suggested that we visit his fish
pond.
“Fish pond,”
I asked. “Yeah,” he said, “it’s where I often go after work or first thing in
the morning with a cuppa. It’s like a little coral grotto with all sorts of
coloured fish in it. I sit there for ages just watching them.”
The water
was its usual 28 or so degrees … it doesn’t or can’t get a lot better.
The three of
us headed for and early lunch at The Summit, a restaurant/garden sanctuary not
too far away. It’s a very steep driveway, sometimes demanding four-wheel-drive,
but worth it when you get to the top … just for the views and the gardens.
It is 20
hectares (probably swapped for a new Hi Lux ute) of beautifully landscaped
gardens. The boys enjoyed pizzas while I tucked into a prawn wrap … both set us
up for a drink at what was Liam’s work farewell party.
It was great
to see all the blokes he’d worked with over the past five years or so … a lot
of then made speeches, while a couple gave him very special wood carvings that
they’d done. There were other gifts, plenty of beers, the strongest kava I’ve
tasted and lots of love in the air.
Pretty soon
it was wrapped up and we three were headed for some Chinese food where after a
good meal, I offered a card to pay. “Sorry, the phone lines are down. Can you
pay cash?” said the woman behind the counter. I had no cash so Liam took care of
it before we headed home for a good sleep to prepare for the farewell party.
The whole
day was just gearing for a party that didn’t take long to get into full swing.
The band was belting out lots of loud music, drinks of all sorts were being
downed at a rate of knots.
I spent a
goodly amount of time in the pool, also getting wet on the inside courtesy of
small buckets of vodka. The rest of the party was getting off its face courtesy
of some mushrooms from Russian bikie chick Paulette.
I reckon the
vodka almost did me in, so I thought perhaps an hour or so napping would give
me a new lease of life. I headed off to my bedroom.
Sleep came
pretty easily. About 45 minutes into the nap, I heard the bedroom door open and
two blokes discussing gang rape. “This is not good,” I said to myself and I stood
up from the bed. The two blokes, one a Ni Van, the other (I think) an expat
Aussie, kept walking towards me, so I suggested that perhaps they should stop,
turn around and leave.
The Ni Van
bloke had raised his fists, so I raised mine and said to him: “Mate, don’t be
stupid cos I’ll kill you.” Then I offered a fist in the face of the white guy
and I said: “Same for you, now fuck off.”
It took a
bit of sweet talking on my part to convince them to go. I followed them
outside, again putting a fist in the white bloke’s face and saying: “If my fist
is gonna be this close to your face again, it’ll be travelling fast enough to
sit you on your fat arse.”
I had my new
lease of life and reacquainted myself with the pool and the vodka bottle.
Then the
karma gods kicked in. The local visitor to my room took a tumble and ripped
open his forehead. There was blood everywhere. Then he fell again and busted
his arm. Luckily there was a paramedic at the party. OK, almost luckily. Although
she had arrived there in the ambulance, she was off her trolley on mushrooms
and had misplaced the keys.
All’s well
that ends well. The keys were found, the paramedic did an excellent patch-up
job and all was well with the victim being whisked off to hospital. His wife
drove into a tree on her way out of the party.
Yeah, it was
a big night in many ways.
THE BIG
CLEAN-UP
Sampson, the
gardener, and I were the early starters and got the 7203 bottles and cans (it
could have been more) into boxes and basically cleaned up. I managed the dishes
and the sundry shit inside the house.
Liam finally
surfaced with a girl called Zoe, who had camped somewhere in the house for the
night. Cups of tea and coffee all round and then hew set of to take her home.
He was gone
for ages and I figured he was getting a “thanks for driving me home” lay.
Not so; the
car had overheated on the way home and he had to get his mate, Matty, to come
and pick him up. Joel, Liam and I spent the rest of the day lazing, recovering,
having a quiet beer and watching DVDs.
SNAKES ALIVE
The next
morning involved a return to the grotto to have a last hurrah with the coloured
fish. It was an experience made the more worthwhile by the appearance of three
sea snakes in various spots. Beautiful creatures all. It was a very special
moment to be up closed and personal with them.
I was packed
and ready to go by lunchtime … so too was the car ready … it was back in town
and so were we as we caught up with Matty for a farewell lunch before I had to
flee to catch a flight to Oz.
Duty-free
shopping involved getting for booze (some Jack and some Ricard that was $19 a
litre), then some Chanel Egoiste for me (my favourite aftershave … you can’t
get it in Oz) and some Estee Lauder Beautiful for the love of my life.
The Air
Vanuatu flight was, as usual, good service although, in a shock twist, I couldn’t
vouch for the quality of the wine. It was my first alcohol-free flight (OK,
alcohol-free anything) .
The usual
shit fight ensued at Brisbane after clearing Customs … getting from the
international to the domestic terminal. Thank god the flight was delayed … the
pilot eventually blamed the weather and air traffic control in Melbourne.
So there I was
outside having a quiet smoke, killing some time (and no doubt myself) waiting
for lift-off.
The relative
quiet was shattered by a fishwife … I make no apology for saying that … who,
with her family, had just got off a bus. With a baby-laden pusher she bolted towards
the terminal. The other child, aged about four, was having none of mum getting
away and ran after her.
The fishwife
stopped, turned and screamed (and I mean screamed) at the little girl: “You
bloody well get back there and help your father with the bloody luggage.”
The little
girl looked devastated. I really felt for her as I headed for the terminal.
Everything
about the Qantas flight (it was my first in a lot of years) was fabulous … the
staff, the smile factor, the service, the whole kit and caboodle.
It was a
great way to end a four-day extravaganza.
